The B, D & C words

Warning! I say a few bad words in this post, but they're just part of the story... I just had a quick thought for today -

I was talking with Bryan this morning, and telling him a story from a few years ago about being called a dyke when someone was angry with me. (I know - great morning conversation.)

To my knowledge, this is the only time in my life that I've been called a dyke.

In recounting the memory - this person was angry because I wasn't giving into his 'charm', and he wasn't getting his way in the conversation. (For the record, calling a woman a dyke - not charming.)

This led me to think that when I've heard men comment on a woman's sexuality in a negative way (dyke, bitch, lesbo, c-word - sorry, I just can't type that one) - it's usually because she isn't responding to his 'charm', or what he believes is his charm.

It's odd to me, that in this line of reasoning, the woman is disagreeing with the man because she's gay, not because she's um...disagreeing.

And of course, this should serve as a reminder to all of us that strong, ambitious women are not automatically bitches.

The fact that I've only been referred to a dyke once, and a bitch a handful of times is less of a testament to me, and more of a testament to the people that I spend time with.

If I'm being unreasonable - I spend time with people that are invested in me and will call me out on it, in a way that helps us both grow.

Last quick thought - whenever I bump into this guy (you know, the dyke guy) it's the first thing that I remember about him. So people, think before you speak in anger. It's more of a reflection on you than the person you're attacking.

Now - go out of your way to say something kind to someone today! K

I should be 'over it'...

I miss Tanner so much. It's a strange thing to have sadness creep in on you when it's a sunny beautiful day outside, and you're getting to do what you love.

It shows up out of nowhere, and usually- for me anyway- after a great thought, which only adds to the shock. I was just thinking about how much Tanner would love hearing and messing around with (and possibly breaking) my banjo. He would giggle, we would make up songs, it would be awesome.

It's so surreal to have my happy thoughts spin into sad thoughts, and then right back into happy ones.

I gave some money to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention today. I don't tell you this to brag or to make myself feel good, I tell you this to empower us.

Things happen.

Sometimes they're happy things and sometimes, they're sad. When the sadness comes, we have a choice. We can give up, declare the world is against us, or we can fight.

We can make change possible.

And when we don't have the ability to do what we know needs to happen, we can find people in the world who are taking on difficult challenges every single day and we can support them.

That's why I wanted to tell you that I supported AFSP today. There is always hope.

Hopefully yours, Kristen

Thank you, Mr. Seeger.

To Pete- I liked the world better when you were in it. It felt safer.

Stages across the country will forever feel the space that you used to fill.

While it feels like sadness should be overwhelming, I only find myself awash with gratitude, and so I say thank you.

Thank you, Mr. Seeger.

Thank you for standing up for freedom, even when it threatened your career.

Thank you for serving as a moral barometer and guiding us back to the right path, in song, when we strayed.

Thank you for choosing peace.

Thank you for surrounding hate and forcing it to surrender.

Thank you for your integrity.

Thank you for reaching out to a young folk singer, and for joining her faux political party.

Thank you for never ever ever ever giving up.

Thank you for expecting us to sing along.

You lived well, you were loved, and we all felt loved back.

Peace, friend.

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Kristen Graves

© Kristen Graves 2015 | PO BOX 435 | Fairfield, CT 06824

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