Well, it’s been nearly a week since I posted my new song Ms. Biles on social media, and - pun intended - it struck a bit of a chord. In case you haven’t seen it (or just want to watch it again) here’s the song:
I’ve just been thinking a lot over the past while - what is it that makes us feel the need to constantly weigh in? Why do we feel the need to insert ourselves into other people’s business? Of course, there is more to this than just someone offering unsolicited opinions. Those are just the initial questions that I have.
People offer advice to one another all of the time. Fine. If that’s the relationship that you have with the person. If you know them. If they know you. If they understand your intentions.
What business is it of mine to insert myself into their day otherwise? And who am I more likely to approach? What is it about how I perceive someone that makes me more willing to make a comment, or offer advice, or share my unsolicited (potentially critical) opinion?
Does it have to do with age?
Gender?
Race?
Ability?
Economic status?
I’ve just been thinking about this lately - and I wanted to toss the question out into the world. If a person is doing something in a way that you wouldn’t, but it impacts you NOT AT ALL, do you say something? And are there certain people that you’re more willing to approach than others?
I’m not intending for these questions to come across as accusatory, I’m genuinely curious. And I think this is something that we should think about - collectively - because, in general, I think accepting that others may think/do/act differently than we do is a great thing. It expands our outlook, it pushes us to ask questions of ourselves, it helps us to think critically.
There are a lot of versions of this quote circulating in the world, but this week with everyone weighing in on a young woman’s decision to listen to her body, mind, and spirit (so many layers to that, but I digress), I’ve been repeatedly coming back to the quote: “Before you speak, ask yourself: Is it kind? Is it true? Is it necessary?” I would add to that: “Does it need to come from me?”
I’m sorry that I can’t really offer any answers to all of the questions that I’m posing, but perhaps that’s better. Perhaps there’s a beauty in the question, a power in thinking through the uncertain, and a freedom in reflection.
Wishing you a happy day, *free* from unsolicited criticism!